Tuesday 18 August 2015

AMAZINGLY WEIRD HEAD TATOOS


The eye sees all. Unfortunately, it looks pretty infected. Is that conjunctivitis? There's something super un-menacing about an evil infected eye. It can't stare into your soul when it's so very itchy. This guy should seriously consider getting a bottle of Visine tattooed right above it. The eye would certainly appreciate it. Or at least a hand to rub some of that gunk away. 
 
"I wonder what's underneath this guy's skull. Oh, look it's brains. I never would have expected that." This tattoo doubles as an anatomy lesson. But we're going to have to take off points for accuracy. We're pretty sure that skulls don't roll back like sardine cans...right? We may have slept right through this portion of anatomy class. And metal skulls would explain why the airport metal detector goes off even after we're stripped down to our socks and skivvies. We may have just learned something new today. 
It's dangerous to fall asleep in the wrong neighborhood. There are some eager graffiti artists who aren't afraid to tag your dome. You can replace a missing wallet. This is much harder to recover from. The only thing you can really do is rock a mohawk and pretend that this is what you wanted all along. Sure, he could grow hair over it. But is life really worth living if you spend it on your knees? A real man stands up for his tattoo, come what may. 
 

Seems like he's taking back the term, "dumb as bricks", good for him. We can't say we're too surprised that he's sporting a colorful splotch of a tattoo on his dome. That's exactly the kind of behavior you expect from someone with bricks for brains. Not that we'd ever say that to this guys face. Please don't send him this link. We don't think we'd survive a butt from someone this hard headed. 
 
We've seen a lot of scary skulls on this list. And they just confirm our suspicion that men don't know scary like women do. A skull on the back of your head will make people gasp. They'll be somewhere between disgust and fear. Not only is she popping out of her skull, she's holding a chain. She's here to wreak havoc in your nightmares. Something tells us this girl is never the little spoon. No one wants to cuddle up to a nightmare child while they go to sleep.  

 

You don't have to wait until it's all gone to have fun with scalp tattoos. Sometimes hair makes it better. These soccer flag patches are sure to be a conversation starter. What do you guys think, Euro? We bet the World Cup is a blast at this guy's house. He's supporting at least six teams at once. And his facial hair is getting in on the party too. Are those LGBT eyebrows? They go great with his purple goatee. That's a festive face we'd party with any day. 

Is your job at work boring? Do you often find yourself napping at your desk? Get a head tattoo! No one will ever wake you up from your office nap again. It may be hard to sleep through all the gasping and yelps from the people who pass by your cubicle. But they'll tip toe away quietly before you can open your eyes. You'll even get fired in silence. Your boss will carefully slide that pink slip across your desk without a word. Then everyone will lock themselves in their office and hope you leave quietly. 
 

You know what would make this tattoo even more awesome? If the guy on the other side was an accountant. Bob could turn in his TPS whenever he wanted to. Who's going to fire a guy with a demon skull tattooed on the back of his head? Not the middle manager in charge of new accounts. He's got too much to live for. In fact, this tattoo could be the key to a pretty cushy life. Whenever anyone gives you grief, just turn around and show them your other face. They'll leave you alone just as fast as they can scramble away. You probably won't get invited to anymore dinner parties, parties, but that's just part of the price of greatness. 
 

What's scarier than a face tattooed on your scalp? Only part of an evil face tattooed on your scalp. Those eyes feel like they're staring right into your soul. But they're not the scariest part of this tattoo. That honor goes to the neck-crease that looks like this creatures mouth. It gives the tattoo a disapproving scowl. It also makes us feel like it's going to open up and swallow us whole. We're even a little afraid to find out what this guy looks like from the front. 
"Hey, this guy doesn't have a scalp tattoo at all." Look a little closer. These are before and after photos for hair tattoos. Not everyone goes the bizarre route with their scalp tattoos. There's a new tattooing technique that ink's "hair" on your bald dome. From far away, it looks like you have recently-shaven hair on your head. From up close it probably looks like your covered in freckles. Is that better than going bald? These guys certainly think so. 
Not frightening enough children as you walk down the street? Why not tattoo a second face on the back of your head? It's just realistic enough to make your heart skip a beat as you walk by. Could you imagine standing behind this guy in line? Do you think he ever twirls the hair-mustache with his fingers? We don't know who this guy is. But we're willing to bet that his front-face isn't smiling either. This biker dude is so mean, he needs two scowls to get his point across. 

The best way to go bald is with a sense of humor. "It's not a bald spot, I just have an overzealous mower on my scalp." This little guy is also a great way to keep track of your scalp's progress. We bet those wheels touched hairline a few years back. The final verdict? This is a great retirement tattoo. That's our polite way of saying "wait until you never have to go in for a job interview again." Not every boss will appreciate your wry sense of humor.



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